What is a Talking Stick?
Native American traditions.
NATIVE AMERICAN TRADITIONS: What is a Talking Stick – Speakers Staff?
A talking stick is a traditional Indigenous communication tool, often used in council circles and ceremonies to ensure respectful, orderly dialogue.
Only the person holding the stick has the right to speak, while others listen, fostering patience and focused listening. It’s widely used in meetings, storytelling, classrooms — and now, in family homes.
A talking stick can be an ornately carved staff taller than the speaker (common among First Nations of the Pacific Northwest). Or a small handheld stick passed around a circle of gathered people. From Northwestern Canada peoples such as the Coast Salish Peoples, Kwakwaka’wakw People and the Nuu-chah-nulth People to the African Akan and Zulu nations, the Talking Stick has been well-used instrument for enabling conversation.
A fascinating subject for those of us interested in Indigenous legends and culture, eh?
In 2005, Gina M. Woods published an article that was a look at her personal experience of the Talking Stick. It remains a unique and fascinating account of the subject. Here it is…
The Talking Stick.
Have you ever heard of a Talking Stick? I hadn’t until two
days ago when my husband presented me with one! “Okay…” I
thought, “Is this supposed to be some joke about me talking
too much or what?”
“You are the love of my life.”
But then he continued his presentation
saying, “Honey, I know that sometimes you think I’m not
listening to you. I have to admit, sometimes you’re right.
But you are the love of my life, and even when I’m
distracted, I always want you to be my first priority.
That’s why I made this for you. I give you this Talking Stick
as a symbol of my commitment to always put you first, no
matter what.”
He continued, “If there’s ever a time when you don’t think I’m
paying attention to you, or if you think I’m ignoring
something important…just pick up this Talking Stick. I
promise to listen, without interruption, while you tell me
what’s on your mind.” Wow! What woman wouldn’t love that? A
promise of undivided attention any time we want it! Does
this man realize what he has just done?
The Talking Stick: A History
I came to discover that the Talking Stick has been used for
centuries by many Native American bands as a means of just
and impartial hearing. The stick was commonly used in
council circles to designate who had the right to speak.
Whoever holds the Talking Stick within his hands has the
power of words. When matters of great concern came before
the council, the leading elder would hold the stick and
begin the discussion. When he finished what he had to say he
would hold out the stick. And whoever wished to speak after
him would take it.
In this manner the stick was passed from
one individual to another until anyone who wished to speak
had done so. The stick was then passed back to the leading
elder for safekeeping. It carries respect for free speech
and assures the speaker that he has the freedom and power to
say what is in his heart without fear of reprisal or
humiliation.
Relationships
So how does this Talking Stick effect our relationships? A
major difference between vibrant marriages and those that
end in divorce is the way the couples communicate. The way
they handle disagreements and hurts. In healthy marriages,
disagreements are handled as they occur by discussing the
situation until both partners are satisfied with the result.
Or some compromise has been agreed upon.
Nothing kills a relationship and romance like “mud-slinging” screaming
matches or attempts to punish with the “silent treatment.”
This is where the Talking Stick really works its magic! I
know of at least one marriage counselor who uses the Talking
Stick as part of her marriage therapy techniques.
Examples
But also imagine what positive effects this form of
communication could have on family relations as well! Take
my family for example. I have three children, ages 2, 5, &
14. The teenager is convinced that NO ONE listens to him.
The toddler MAKES SURE that everyone listens to her. And the
5-year-old desperately tries to have his views heard above
the other two! It’s quite the circus some days!
Now that we have the Talking Stick, EVERYONE will be heard. And
hopefully all family members will begin to feel like their
opinions are being heard and really do count. I think it
will be a great family communication tool.
Make Your Own Talking Stick
By now, you may be inspired to make your own Talking Stick
for your family. Go for it! Be creative! My husband used
ideas from an article he’d read. And added different types of
beads to symbolize each family member. As well as some other
personal symbolism that only our family would appreciate. He
also typed out a “story” explaining the history of the stick
and included the meanings of all the symbolism he used to
create it.
Favorite Parts
One of my favorite parts is, “The fork in the
stick represents disagreement which is natural between
different members of any community. The fork is short and ends
sharply to remind us that a solution to all conflict is
possible and need not end in a lonely journey for any member
of the your group.” The main idea is that it is made with love
and out of respect for the family unit.
“The love of an eagles flight…”
We have our stick hung in a prominent area of our house for
all guests to see and the “story” is framed beside it. Quite
a conversation piece!
As for my husband…I’d have to say that he really outdid
himself on this project. I never would have believed that
receiving a STICK could mean so much. I’d like to share with
you the final sentences from his story, “The Talking Stick
is given from the loving heart of the community’s leader. This
token of love is so that every tribal member remains
together until the sun sets for the last time on our day.
The love of an eagles flight, Chief Phillip!” – Gina M. Woods
NATIVE AMERICAN TRADITIONS: What is a Talking Stick – Speakers Staff?
ARTICLE SOURCE: Gina M. Woods – ginawoods@alltel.net. Her article was printed here.
IMAGE SOURCE: Two photos top of page are from Wikipedia Commons.
FURTHER RESEARCH: The article that Gina’s husband had read to “add different types of beads to symbolize each family member” is no longer live. Here’s a good source for more research: “A talking stick, also called a speaker’s staff, is an instrument of Indigenous democracy used by a number of Indigenous communities…” Read more.
INDIGENOUS FOLKLORE: NATIVE AMERICAN LEGEND: Wild Woman of the Woods – Woman of the Mask
TRADITIONAL MYTHS: BEARS IN MYTHOLOGY & FOLKLORE: Irish, Norse, German, Native American Meaning
TAGS: is using a talking stick cultural appropriation, what is a talking stick and how can it be used, talking stick meaning, speaker’s staff, native American traditions.
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